


Madonna and her Many Lovers

by genevievedarcygranger



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Angst, Domesticity, F/M, Fluff, No Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 20:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13509306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genevievedarcygranger/pseuds/genevievedarcygranger
Summary: A basic hodgepodge of ships I wrote for my friends self insert. I'm just gonna yeet them here.





	1. How Kili Met Madonna

After Thorin convinced the Master of Laketown to help his company on their quest to reclaim Erebor, a grand feast was thrown in the Master’s hall with wine over-flowing and meat roasting on spits, fat dripping into the fire causing a delicious aroma and appetizing sizzle. Nearly everyone was there and the starving people had never seen so much food before. The dwarves were happy to have a decent meal and proved how much mead they could handle. It was basically a pre-celebration for reclaiming their homeland and defeating the dragon and sharing their wealth. Dwarf, hobbit, and human alike were partying, dancing, eating, and playing music – all except one dwarf.

Kili was quiet during the whole affair. His arrow-wound from the vile orcs was paining him greatly. It hurt to stand and no matter how much he drank he could feel everything, whether it was a twinge of discomfort or a stab of pain. So while his brother, his uncle, his friends, and his companions merrily feasted with the people of Laketown, he stayed in his chair and watched, sad and alone and in pain.

His silver lining was a serving wench who flitted around the room like a social butterfly and yet also buzzed busily like a bee attended to her flowers. No one’s glass stayed empty for too long and no one could resist a smile when she made her way over. Kili was entranced by the human woman. She was very short for a human yet tall for a dwarf. Her complexion was creamy like the moon; her hair was short to her shoulders and dark as the night. Her eyes were brown – not brown like boring, common brown but brown like the earth rich for plundering because deep inside those depths Kili could see from the all the way across the hall that there were jewels to be found and treasured. 

He also liked her nose. It was a regal nose; the kind you would find on a noble woman who would ruin it by putting it up in the air like a snob. She, however, was not a noble woman by birth. Like the other commoners of Laketown she wore what she could whether it is rags or hand-me-downs. Tonight, though, everyone wore their best frocks and breeches and instead of bundling up from the snow, they were actually showing more skin than their face for the roaring fires and huge crowd made the grand hall hot enough for the dancers to sweat. 

But this woman was warm not only in temperature but in her nature. She was kind to those she served and she didn’t seem to mind her position in life. She seemed strong and confident and sure of herself. The woman served people with a smile and it was the same to everyone except for the Master, Alfrid, and the guards. Those men she served very little wine and gave them the worst pieces of meat like the bones and gristle. The others she gave generous amounts of roast and slipped them precious food like sweets. She was very sweet herself, in Kili’s opinion.

Not only was this serving wench pretty and good-hearted, but she was sexy of course. For every man that met this woman that was the first impression – nice ass. For Kili, though, he only noticed her child-bearing hips once they were sashaying his way. That’s when he realized his glass went empty and thus his prayers were answered. Instead of having to embarrass himself by limping to the woman, he had unknowingly summoned this angel. 

She gave him that same charming smile she gave everyone else and glanced him over briefly while she poured him a hefty goblet of wine. “You’re sweating, too, huh? It is blazing hot in here even if you’re not dancing or like me bustling around to everyone.” 

Kili laughed for he didn’t know what to say yet. To be honest with himself he knew that he was sweating from the sharp ache of his punctured thigh. He hadn’t really noticed the agony until she pointed out his fever induced sweat. So far the serving wench had been a distraction enough for him to forget his burning, bound leg. Maybe his sweating hadn’t started until she arrived. He felt nervous enough as it was. Finally, after a time, he managed to think of what to say to her. “What’s your name, lass?” he tried to smoothly purr at her but there was a catch in his voice from his nerves and his malady.

“Madonna is what I’m called. And yourself, Master Dwarf?” She looked him over again and passed him an extra slab of meat. 

“Kili,” he answered, “at your service. Thank you for your service, by the way.” He smiled and hoped his misery didn’t deter her. 

Madonna curtseyed and tipped her head at him. “You seem pale…” Her glittering eyes searched him again. “Can I get you anything else?” There was a flirtatious inflection somewhere in her tone, Kili fancied. Or maybe his affliction was causing him to hallucinate and this Madonna was a figment of his imagination. She was just so unreal in the best way possible.

“Oh, no. I don’t wish to keep you from your duties but I do think you deserve a break. You look a little tired yourself, you know. Not that you look bad, you look beautiful. You have that little sparkle in your eye like pent-up energy–” He cut himself off quickly. Kili couldn’t pass of his babbling on his injury this time. 

To his relief, Madonna laughed and punched his arm. “Okay. So, Kili, tell me about your adventure so far,” She managed to plop down on the bench beside him gracefully, and poured herself a tankard of mead. “You must have faced so many perils and I’ve always wanted to leave this frozen Hell-hole and explore the Middle-Earth and beyond the borders of the map and the whole entire world!” Madonna yanked off her serving apron, tossed it away carelessly, and made herself a plate, too. She grabbed a bowl of walnuts as she continued to say, “I want to sample every culture, to hear every language, and to experience every custom!” she chattered excitedly to him, “Who did you meet? What did you fight? Where did you go? What’s your home like? What did you kill? Can I see your battle scars?” Madonna beamed at him and stared him down imploringly waiting to hear of every detail of his life.

Kili breathed easier and narrated everything, forgetting his torment for a while and also conveniently forgetting his uncle’s order of secrecy. He told her of their gathering at Bag-End, and the background of his people and his uncle. He expounded on their run-ins with the trolls, orcs, goblins, and elves. On and on he described the Shire and the Misty Mountains and Rivendell and Mirkwood and the Goblin caverns. Madonna listened and made the proper sounds of awe in the right places and asked questions about Elrond and the Goblin King and Bilbo and Thorin and his brother Fili and his mother Dis. All the while they snacked on walnuts, the meat and the drinks soon forgotten.   
"My mother," he laughed, "she worries. She thinks I'm restless." He smiles at Madonna and fiddles in his pocket for the token.

"You? Reckless? Hardly." she sarcastically drawls. Kili learned that for all this woman's sweetness, she was a very independent, opinionated, and bossy smartass. "Although that thing about the barrels and fishes can be seen as reckless. It explains a lot about you, though. Why you smell like you need a bath for one thing." she teases lightly.

Kili only chuckles and reveals his token. “I made a promise to my mother,” Kili told Madonna quietly as he showed her his token, “I promised that I would not forget her and that I would do my best to return to her.” He watched as Madonna took the small item from him and traced her small, slender fingers over the dwarven runes carved into its dark, smooth surface. She handed it back to Kili after she observed it to her liking and when she pressed the round stone into his palm, Kili felt the calluses of her finger tips and his face was so close to hers that he could smell the heady perfume of her natural scent mixed with the mulled mead on her breath. 

Kili wanted badly at that moment to kiss her, but her entrancing eyes held him spell-bound and he found that he couldn’t move. Those eyes, so rich and enchanting like a chocolate diamond, made him forget everything: how to breathe, how to think, what to say, what to do, and that it was growing late. Soon they would have to part ways and he would have to continue his quest onto Erebor and she would stay and live her life serving others when she should be treated like a queen. It was the excruciating sting in his thigh that foreshadowed an infection that eventually pulled him out of his hypnotic state of mind. 

Unwillingly, he showed his weakness and went pale as he hissed through his teeth, his hands gripping his wrapped leg as if to help temper his poisoned wound. Madonna leapt to attention and tried to see it. Kili was too weak to deny her, so she attended to the wound. Madonna splashed some strong, spicy wine over it and then washed it away with water. She summoned her friends to help her but no matter what herbs they tried it did nothing to relieve the pain or reduce the swelling or stop the bleeding. Out of desperation she beseeched a dwarf to help her, going against Kili’s plead but it was the right thing to do. Soon, with the help of kingsfoil and Oin’s healing, Kili fell into a deep sleep as his body fought the poison and the pain.

The last thing he remembered that from that night was Madonna leaning over him and attending to his leg, using her serving apron as the binding for the poultice. She was bathed in starlight and her brow was furrowed in concentration and concerned. Despite looking very strained and serious, Kili thought he had never seen anything more lovely in his life. Then he passed out with the knowledge that at that moment he realized that he needed her and she wouldn't leave him. He realized in his dreams that he loved her.

While he was asleep, Madonna worried over him. She did what she could but mostly just left him alone. The dwarf was arrogant in a charming way and seemed to her like - for lack of a better word - a goofball. Still, Madonna admired the fact that he had a very high tolerance for pain and poison. Though, she called him a silly dwarf for waiting so long for his wound to be attended and for daring to hide it from her by glossing over the events of their escape from the orcs and elves in Mirkwood. In that moment though, while she watched him slumber with his head resting on a pile of walnuts for a pillow, she realized he needed her and that she would not abandon him. Madonna realized - that she loved him.

Once morning dawned, Kili was awake but still couldn’t walk without difficulty. He stayed behind with his brother Fili, the healer Oin, and Bofur who was too hung-over to wake up on time. It was for the best, however. The dwarves helped protect the town from the orcs and the dragon. While Kili resided in Laketown, Madonna visited him often. 

They had an unusual courtship. They spared with swords, had archery contests, fought side by side against foes, and in the Battle of the Five Armies Madonna saved Kili, Fili, and Thorin from Death’s clutches thanks to her quick-thinking and training and skill with a knife. Madonna was an artisan in battle and a craftswoman to whatever she set her mind to. She was also an excellent scholar. Eventually, they married and Madonna’s wish was granted as she finally abandoned her post as a serving wench and went to live with her husband in Erebor, surrounded by riches, friends, and family – all of them dwarves. 

After a time, Madonna bared him two daughters, Morganna and Morganne. Both of them were small, tiny for dwarves. They had their mother’s pale complexion and Kili’s dark, wild hair. They both had eyes that glittered like coal on fire and were blessed with their mother’s human ancestry where they didn’t grow beards. Being twins, you could hardly tell one apart from the other. The only clue was that Morganna had a long, dwarven nose and played the lute very well, while her sister’s musical talent was in the flute. They grew up to be fierce warriors just like Kili was raised and Madonna was transformed into. While Madonna never left the Lonely Mountain that she fell in love with as soon as she arrived, her daughters set out to have their own journeys and adventures. Morganna became a tradeswoman who was honest and fair, and soon gained a reputation that anyone who tried to cheat or steal from her would soon have to dodge arrow shafts. Morganne left to explore every league of land of the Middle-Earth. She became a well-known mapmaker and became well versed in every culture she encountered. And Kili and Madonna lived happily ever after, to the end of their days.


	2. How Madonna Met Tony

Tony Stark was bored. Being the billionaire-playboy-philanthropist that he is, he spent all night partying and as of now had to show up for a meeting for Stark Industries. He had nothing better to do considering Iron Man wasn’t needed right now, he had nothing but ideas in his head for later creations and no blueprints, and the fact that Pepper had nagged him into coming for her sanity’s sake. Tony had always admired Pepper. He had tried to come onto her – both seriously and playfully – but she always turned him down flat. Right now she was happily dating Happy, and Tony for the life of him couldn’t stand to come between his two friends that tolerated (loved) and knew him best. 

So here he was, stuck in a boring conference about funding or whatever – he wasn’t paying any attention – when this babe walked into the room and served the Board their coffee. Tony had never seen this woman before or he would have hit on her sooner. She was very short, about 5’2”, and curvy where he liked it: on her rear, hips, and thighs. The brunette’s hair was short to her shoulders, slightly wavy, and pulled back into a loose bun. The woman had intelligent brown eyes, a regal nose, and right now ruby red lips. Tony’s only disappointment was that she had a grey pencil skirt that may fit her tight but it was down to her knees, not nearly short enough to his liking. Her white dress-shirt wasn’t skin tight and she had nearly all the buttons closed up except for the top two so in his opinion she wasn’t showing nearly enough skin. Still, she was very beautiful and Tony wanted to tell her. He wanted her.

She made her way over in her sensibly high, grey high-heels and offered him the coffee without speaking a word. When she looked at him she had a sparkle of excitement in her eyes and the barest hint of a smile on her lips yet she did nothing untoward him. Tony wished in that moment that she had a nametag but no such luck so he simply nodded and watched her prepare his coffee. She then showed him the box of doughnuts and he took two and said,   
“Sit down and have a cup of coffee with me. Here, have a doughnut.” He pushed the chair out beside him with his foot and patted the seat welcomingly.

Looking only slightly flustered, the woman looked toward the rest of the occupants in the room. Pepper was giving Tony an admonishing look that translated into, “Pay attention and quit flirting with anything that can wear a skirt.” Happy stood behind her, standing guard but choosing to ignore Tony’s behavior. The rest of the Board was waiting for Tony’s reply to a question that had been proposed. The Chairman of the Board asked, “Well, Mr. Stark?”  
Tony, without seeming contrite at all, simply said, “I dunno. Pepper what do you think?” He swiveled the chair towards the brunette and motioned for her to sit down.

“Mr. Stark, I already told the Board what I think.” Pepper smiled sweetly at him. 

Tony knew he was caught so he said, “Well, you clearly have a firmer grasp on the subject than I do so I’ll let you make this decision.” He pushed back his chair and announced, “I’m hungry. You wanna go grab a bite to eat with me?” he asked the brunette smoothly and offered her his hand, ignoring Pepper’s glare.

The brunette glanced at the others before taking his hand. “Yes, Mr. Stark.” 

Tony pulled her to her feet and led her out of the room, explaining, “Uh, no. We’ll have none of that ‘Mr. Stark’ business. As a matter of fact this lunch isn’t business at all. It’s pleasure. So this would go a lot more pleasurable if you call me Tony and I call you… Mary?”

“No, sir. My name isn’t Mary.” She patiently answered as she struggled to keep up with his quick pace. Tony knew if he could make it the elevator he could escape Pepper and wouldn’t have to be dragged back to the conference room to endure anymore useless drivel. It would also be embarrassing to be caught.

“Sarah, then?” he quipped as he pushed the down button rapidly and repeatedly.

“No, sir.” Tony stepped into the elevator and pulled her in with him.

“Morgan?” The doors closed and he pressed the floor button five times.

“No.” The elevator started going down at a slow, easy pace.

“Elizabeth?” He turned to face her, but didn’t release her hand.

She was staring at him like he was a crazy person and simply shook her head no again.

“What about Katelyn? You look like one.” He fondly tucked a string of hair behind her ear. 

“No, Mr. Stark.” She sighed, slightly exasperatedly. At this rate he’ll never guess.

“See you know my name but I don’t know yours and I would like to have a pleasurable lunch with you but I don’t know your name. Tell me.” He stared into her eyes deeply and searched as if he could find her name in there, somewhere. 

“I have an unusual name.” She shrugged. “My parents named me Madonna.” 

“Madonna?” Tony clarified, and when she nodded he continued, “Why did they name you that? Please tell me it wasn’t after the popstar. You know, ‘like a virgin, touched for the very first time’?” He sang. 

“No.” She laughed, “It’s kind of a long story but here it goes. My parents wanted to name me Morgan and my dad joking said that they should name me Morganna after Morgan le Fey, you know, and my mom misheard him and thought that he suggested Madonna. They thought it was funny so the name just stuck that way.” While Madonna told her story, Tony had walked her to his sports car and opened the passenger door for her. 

She climbed in the Porsche, and Tony jumped and slid across the shiny silver hood to the other side and jumped in beside her in the driver’s seat. “Huh, funny story, I guess.” He buckled up, cranked the key, and revved the engine. “You better hold onto something.” He stepped on the gas and they took off fast leaving tire marks on the parking garage’s concrete floor.

Madonna buckled her seatbelt quickly after that and her hands went to control her hair while Tony drove them through downtown Malibu. The top was down and when Tony looked over at her he saw one of the most beautiful sites he had ever seen. Her hair was coming out of its loose bun and it flew about her face in the best way, whipping around and outlining her profile against the background of the blue Pacific Ocean and the white sandy beaches. “So, Madonna, what do ya wanna eat?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” She sighed absentmindedly, “Do you think they’ll be mad that you left the meeting so soon Mr. Stark and that you took me with you?” She inquired.

“Nah. Of course, not. I have my name on the title of the company. And if they fire you or something stupid like that then I myself will personally rehire you – through Pepper. You could be a pencil-pusher secretary or something instead of the intern who brews the coffee, if you wanted.”

“Actually, Mr. Stark, I don’t just make the coffee. I work in the mail room.” She clarified calmly while he drove like a mad man. 

“Really? You should have a better job than that. You seem like such a smart girl. I’ll have Pepper give you a bonus and promote you to Chairwoman of the Board. How ‘bout that?” he asked.

“Mr. Stark, I think you should slow down. And thank you, but no thank you. I’d like to move on up through your company the fair way – through hard work and my own means. Besides, if you did that then everyone would think I slept with you just to get that nice comfy desk job.”

Tony wisely chose to ignore that last statement. Even if he wanted it to be kind of true he knew from experience that women didn’t like he stated that as a fact. So he continued on to say, “What, I’m only going like 80 miles per hour. That’s nothing. You know what, I feel like Italian. Let’s have Italian.” He quickly pulled into the nearest Chinese buffet.

He hopped out of the car and slid across the hood again to get to her side. He opened the door like a gentleman and once again offered her his hand. With only a slight moment of hesitation, she once again took his hand. “But this is Chinese.” She objected, but Tony only shrugged. “Mr. Stark–” 

"Hey I told you to call me Tony. How am I supposed to get any pleasure out of this lovely lunch date with this lovely lady I just met when she makes it seem like a job interview or something?” He led her inside and instead the power walk he did at Stark Industries, he leisurely strolled with Madonna, hand in hand. 

“Tell you what, if I loosen up my tie and take off my jacket while you call me Tony and maybe even pop a few buttons? I dunno, just a thought here.” 

She glared at him as they went through the buffet line. “Mr. Stark–”

“Tony.” He interjected, unmoved by her glare on the outside but on the inside sweating bullets.

“Mr. Stark,” She emphasized, “I work for you, sir. And I will not tolerate any sexual harassment, sir. This is not a date, sir. I will not sleep with you, sir. I’m only here because I was worried that you would fire me if I refused but now I am putting my foot down. Do I make myself clear?” She drew herself up to her full height of 5’2” and stared up her nose at him, hands on her hips and brow knitted in anger.

Tony, with all his experience with women, had never met a girl quite like her. Mostly they knew that sex was a done deal as soon as they accepted his offer. Even those women who worked for him wanted to have sex – in fact most of them hoped for it. Still, Tony had never had a woman turn him down before – he was just too irresistible. Nobody has ever told him no, he always got what he wanted, he was spoiled that way. So he could think of nothing to do but kiss her. So he did.

After a beat she started kissing back and she grabbed his face. However, as soon as he put his hands on her hips she withdrew from the kiss and slapped him lightly. “Okay fine. This is a date. But I’m not sleeping with you, Tony.” She shook her finger at him and then continued down the buffet line, making her plate. 

Tony followed along after her, slightly dazed and with a small red handprint on his cheek and red lipstick smeared on his mouth. “Whatever you say, Madonna.” Was all he said. What he thought was Not yet. 

Their date went well and as Madonna said she didn’t sleep with him. They had many more dates and still she didn’t sleep with him. They had a healthy relationship because even though she worked for him, she never interacted with him beyond having coffee together. Tony always took her out on the town and tried to spend a lot of money on her but she was never interested in all the jewels and presents and cars. And when Tony had to go on missions she always worried about him but had the upmost confidence that he would return. 

It was during one of his more dangerous and long missions, in fact, that Tony and Madonna realized that they loved each other. Over the dangerous mission against radical terrorists, all Tony could think about was that he was going to miss dinner with Madonna. And while Madonna ate alone at the Red Lobster, all she could think about was how Tony loved seafood and she hoped that he would be okay and make it back in time at least for dessert. When he returned from his time as Iron Man, Madonna was waiting for him back at his beach house in Malibu. That was when she finally relented and she slept with him. However, they didn’t have sex. She literally went to sleep in Tony’s arms and Tony thought that that was good enough for him because her last words before she drifted off in the land of nod to him were, “I love you.” 

And as he pressed a kiss into her hairline he replied, “I love you, too.”


	3. How Madonna met Loki

It really was quite unfortunate. Madonna really was at the wrong place at the wrong time. She had taken a job with S.H.I.E.L.D. because she wanted to be closer to Tony and technically their relationship wasn’t inappropriate now, because she was no longer working for Stark Industries. Now she could feed Tony information about S.H.I.E.L.D. and they had more time to do things together without worrying about bad publicity by the press. 

Director Fury approved of her so she was placed in simple security where she underwent brutal training. However, she had been expecting this. Madonna had always worked out but when she started dating Tony she trained in boxing and mixed martial arts – just in case. You never know when you date a super hero just what would happen. This training was admittedly tougher, but she worked hard. 

She had moved her way up the ladder to work in a secret facility as a scientist working on this magical blue cube they called the Tesseract. Under Agent Barton’s watchful eye she worked with a fellow physicist named Erik Selvig on learning just exactly what this thing was. 

So far Madonna had been treated like an intern. So instead of doing research and experiments with Erik, she had been sent to fetch coffee and run papers everywhere. It was like she was a monkey assistant; it wasn’t until she corrected one of their papers and disproved their theory that they started to treat her like a coworker. 

On her first day with testing the Tesseract, all Hell broke loose. Loki arrived and at first sight Madonna thought him crazy but handsome – alike to how she thought of Tony when they first met. After that initial thought she thought nothing else, for Loki enchanted her with his scepter when he tapped it on her heart.

Loki’s first impression of Madonna, in comparison, was very similar. He thought her to be a mere mortal woman who was admittedly very beautiful. Loki didn’t have the heart in him to kill her, this brunette with beautiful brown eyes, so he cast his spell on her to be dealt with later. When he charmed the other scientist and the secret agent he ordered her on the other agents and had his verbal spare with the big, black, and bald Cyclops. This mortal man reminded him too much of Odin; he could not kill him.  
When all was said and done, and Loki escaped with the Tesseract and his brain-washed zombies, he finally paid attention to the female scientist. Looking at her nametag, he deduced her name was Madonna, and he was sad to see that her beautiful brown eyes were covered with a film of the blue magic. He asked her, “Madonna, speak plainly, honestly, and tell me what you think of me.” 

In a robotic voice, Madonna replied, “I think you’re handsome.” Loki smiled. “But I also think you’re merciless and insane.” Loki’s smile faded slightly but he laughed all the same. 

“You are correct, wench. I am insane.” After that he ordered her to work on the Tesseract with Erik. Loki then moved on with his other plans. 

While Madonna was under his influence, Loki kept an eye on her. He had figured out that the Man of Iron was dating her and he wasn’t happy that she was with him now, figuratively speaking. Loki took a liking to her immediately though. He could see her try to fight the mind-control and she struggled valiantly yet his power was too much for her, he knew. Yet, she never gave and never ceased the struggle. While under his care, she was well kept. The others never slept and ate very little and were kept busy all the time, like laboring ants preparing for the winter. Loki ordered Madonna to sleep when he saw that she was tired, and made her share her meals with him. He allowed her to take showers and treated her basically like a favorite pet. 

Madonna saw how he treated her while she was powerless and her opinion of him quickly changed. He was kind to her and though he worked the other like slaves, for some reason he held her above all others. He never tried anything with her; he simply saw to her needs, wants, and health. He bestowed upon her a few trinkets like some jewelry he stole – or had someone else steal for him to give to her. He confided his feelings with her, but never breathed a word of all his plans. Loki even commanded her to tell him of her life and her relationship with Tony. He listened attentively and then went on to ask information about S.H.I.E.L.D. That did not surprise her; what surprised her was that he wanted to know simply things about her, like what her favorite color was. When she told him her favorite color, he told her his favorite color – green. It was all together amusing and unsettling. 

While he was gone she was in charge, in a way, though they all had their orders and knew exactly what to do. So over her time with him, Madonna felt sorry for him because Loki was very lonely. He was still very handsome, but still undeniably crazy. She hoped that he would soon have a change of heart and knew in her heart that Tony would come rescue her and kick his ass like he did with every other bad guy. This one though, was different to her. The more time she spent with magic blue eyes, the less she felt for Tony and it was killing her. 

Once Loki was defeated and the spell placed upon her was broken, Madonna was reunited with Tony. She tried to love him again; they tried to make things work. But it was too late. She felt something for Loki and she knew he felt it too. She realized when Thor took him back to Asgard and Tony took her and Bruce back to the lab that she loved Loki. And she wept as her heart broke, knowing she could never be with him and never see him again.


	4. How Madonna met Clint

After the whole Avengers fiasco with Loki, Madonna and Tony’s relationship was pretty much over. They really tried to work things out, but it was all for naught. The last straw was when Tony, out of desperation, bought a gold cross necklace for Madonna on her birthday. In his defense, it would have worked on almost every other girl except – “Tony, I told you this before. I’m a Jehovah’s Witness.” Madonna explained sadly. 

Tony shut his eyes in frustration and muttered to himself, “Yeah, I should have remembered when you said you didn’t have any special plans for today.” Inside he was roiling in self-hatred. He usually tried to be all romantic and remember the special things about her, but he was working so much lately that he just forgot something very important about Madonna. She was very opinionated and Tony liked that feisty, independent side to her, but he really was at fault since when she explained her religion she never missed a chance to point out the aspects of her religion to him. 

“Tony, I don’t think this will work.” Madonna whispered as she handed the present back to him.

“Look, I’m sorry about the present–” Tony interjected but Madonna swiftly cut him off.

“It’s not just about this! After what happened, under my time with Loki and his enchantments, well, we just don’t feel the same for each other. And Pepper even broke up with Happy – they were going to be engaged Tony! – Just because you nearly died and she realized that she loves you. I respect that. And I know you loved her, you still do – don’t deny it! It’s fine. I just don’t feel the same about you. Not anymore.” 

Tony started to get a little angry. “If this is because that Loki dude cast a love spell on you or something, believe me I can fix it. I am way more charming than he is.” He joked.

“Tony.” was all Madonna had to say. She fixed him with her best stare and Tony’s ego and fury deflated as he sighed. “It’s over.”

“We can still be friends, right?”

“Yeah. Always.”

After that, Madonna went back to work for S.H.E.I.L.D. except instead of going back to the science division, she decided to work a desk job instead – much less exciting that way. Tony waited about three days before he tried something with Pepper. She refused him for a week before they finally went out on their first date. From then on they were inseparable as a couple, and they kept their word. Madonna, Tony, Pepper, and Happy were still friends. No one held any regrets or hard feelings for each other. 

Madonna was still unhappy, though, for a little while. She knew her feelings with Loki were one-sided and impossible, so she was slowly learning to just let it go, but it was very difficult for her. You can’t just forget how a God waltzed into your life and put a hex on you. So she threw herself into her work, which wasn’t that hard to do at all. 

Madonna’s job was to assign cases to the best field agent fit for the job, and then manage their assignment so they don’t cause too much of a fuss. The most challenging part of the job was matching the right agent to the right file. At first, she picked regular agents – the kind who weren’t high profile and they were very secretive about their lives. They weren’t very hard to work with per say, but they had a problem with respecting Madonna’s authority. They wanted to do everything by the book and challenged Madonna’s orders at every opportunity they saw fit. However, most of them were senior agents who had been doing these operations for a while so Madonna let it go. They just wouldn’t discuss things with her. It made the paperwork Hell for Madonna, and she was just miserable. 

When Tony saw how upset Madonna was, he volunteered for most of her cases. Pepper didn’t really have a problem with it, even though she knew Iron Man will always get in trouble she could live with the stress and Tony needed the challenge. Madonna still felt a little guilty, so she started easing off on assigning Tony to the cases. Her work started to suffer from it and she started to get depressed. 

That’s when Tony talked to Director Fury about it. Director Fury had a soft spot for Madonna; she was an excellent security guard and a fantastic scientist. Now she was one of his best agents in the desk and he was hesitant to put her out in the field. That’s when Fury got an idea. He got the brilliant idea to assign Agent Clint Barton to be her field agent. After all they were both put under Loki’s blue madness. 

Now when Clint started to have to report to Madonna, he was like all the other agents she had. Soon though, he started opening up to her and they became fast friends. Madonna started to feel more for him, but she worried that Natasha would come kick her ass if she made a move on Clint. However, Agent Romanoff was very busy working in different parts of the world – and with Captain America, too.

It was Agent Barton who made the first move. He still had feelings for Natasha, but he didn’t think it could work since Loki’s magic and Steve’s attachment to Natasha. Rogers and Romanoff weren’t exactly dating, but to Clint it was only a matter of time. So, with a little encouragement from Tony (meaning he sort of mercilessly teased both of them in front of each other, and Happy, Pepper, Maria, and Bruce (meaning they offered advice and gave a very gentle push in Madonna’s direction), and even from Fury (who strong-armed him into it, claiming that if Clint didn’t just go ahead and ask her out he would be assigned to a be her personal assistant and never go on another field mission again), Clint finally got the courage to casually invite Madonna out for coffee.

Coffee turned into lunch and lunch turned into the rest of the afternoon together. Soon they were having dinner almost every night and they were basically the office sweethearts. Everyone is S.H.I.E.L.D. knew that if you were caught glancing at Madonna’s ass for a second that Clint would come out of nowhere and give you a knuckle-sandwich with some fruit punch. It usually resulted in a black eye; and if you went to Fury, you were demoted to a science monkey in five seconds flat. Any woman who dare try anything with Clint was sent to the medical ward with something broken. More than once, Madonna had blood on her files when turned in at the end of the day. So you could say it was the perfect relationship. 

They spared together in the training room, more often against one another than working together. They never went on missions together though. Madonna didn’t want to compromise Hawkeye, and she preferred having the position of power over him in her comfortable desk job. She was given free access to communication with Clint 24/7 and was able to keep a sharp eye out for him, directing him away from danger whenever she felt the need to and nobody could tell her different. Clint even trusted her judgment, so it worked out perfectly for them. 

It was after one of their most important and very successful missions that they admitted to each other over the dodgy radio frequencies – in different time-zones, on different continents, and across an ocean – that they loved each other. For Clint this was a huge event; he never even told Natasha that he loved her – not even after Budapest or the Avenger’s first mission together as a team in New York. For Madonna it was even bigger – she had told him she loved him faster than when she did with Tony and with Tony she could not ever see them ending.

Once reunited after their confession, people knew they were different. Before, they were very professional at work and now they were openly affectionate. Fury could care less though – they were excellent partners together and even if it affected their work it was an advantage. So, Madonna was finally happy again; safe, loved, and joyous in Clint’s large, strong hands.


	5. How Madonna met Steve

Now Clint Barton and Madonna were very happy together and probably would have stayed that way had it not been for one thing – Natasha Romanoff came back. It turned out that there was nothing between her and Steve, and that she had all along loved only Clint. Clint was torn between his first love that he never even experienced and his current love who was all he had. At first, all of this had been very frustrating for everyone and it affected everyone’s work. Clint and Madonna argued more; she micro-managed him and he deliberately disobeyed her. It was a constant battle for dominance now. Natasha was stirring things up by doing nothing at all. Fury was tired of it. 

But by no means was it anyone’s fault. People fall out over time and this was one of those relationships where it was nice while it lasted but just was not meant to be. Madonna was the first to come to this conclusion. She could see the way Clint and Natasha looked at each other. They were so comfortable together even with all the tension of everything else. They knew each other so well compared to how well Madonna knew him. His mysterious background was one of the things that attracted him to her. However, Madonna could feel their relationship crumbling underneath her feet, and she knew that if they continued on how they were now that he could get hurt or worse on one of his missions. Even Natasha was slipping up now, she was so distracted.  
So Madonna took control of the situation and sped things along. Just like she did with Tony, she ended it quickly and as painlessly as she could. Clint was grateful that she did it. While he would never cheat on Madonna, he didn’t know how exactly how to end it without worrying if she’d kick his ass. Their sparring practices had been cancelled on the account that Madonna had kicked him in the balls and made him chip a tooth – it was an unspoken rule to never go for that weak spot and to never leave lasting damage. It was all an accident, they both knew. Still, ending it was for the better. 

After a fortnight Natasha took the initiative and soon she and Clint were partners in the field. They did beautifully together. With Maria as their handler, they were so fiercely independent that they did above and beyond their assignment and managed to take what should be a mission that took about a year take only a month for them. S.H.I.E.L.D. had never been so successful and feared. The downside was that they were starting to be known and familiar. But that, too, had its pros and cons. Most criminals gave up once they knew that both the Black Widow and Hawkeye were after them. The pro was that the media was desperately trying to get interviews and information about not only their best agents, but the organization as well. Not since the Avengers had they ever received so much publicity. Still, it was to be expected. Nothing stayed secret for long when you worked with people like Tony Stark.

Anyway, after Madonna lost her field agent she was assigned Steve. Neither of them minded; they were all friends now. She and Clint still got along and Madonna and Natasha trained together. It was all friendly competition and Steve always stopped things before it got out of hand. Working with Captain America was one of the easiest things Madonna has ever done. Madonna had always pushed herself hard to be the best at whatever field of work she applied herself in. She was a renaissance woman that way. However, she always preferred to work with her hands with her ideas that mindlessly do nothing. Madonna wanted to accomplish things, even if she wasn’t recognized or praised for it; the paycheck and self-satisfaction was enough for her. Steve was great for her! He respected her and they worked smoothly together. Even better than how she worked with Clint. 

Soon, however, Madonna grew restless with her desk job and she believed that she was finally ready for the field. She wanted the excitement again and she thought she could work with Steve since they were just friends. Well, to her they were just friends. Steve was totally smitten with Madonna. She reminded him so much of Peggy, but he never told her that. He had told her about Peggy, but told Madonna that she reminded him of Rosie the Riveter. No one knew of Steve’s affections for her, so when Fury relented and assigned them together no one could have guessed what would have happened yet.

They had a pretty standard job; a cakewalk for Madonna’s first mission as a field agent. Walk in, bust the drug dealers, arrest the big boss, and avoid as many casualties as possible. Everything was going so well, until Madonna got hurt. In truth it was no big deal, every field agent walks away with a few scrapes and bruises. But this time, Madonna was punched right in the face but the head honcho drug lord. He busted her lip and she spat her blood in his face and swiftly put him in cuffs. However, when Steve saw her injury he lost his cool a little bit. The drug lord was taken to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters in need of a splint on his leg. Madonna was righteously pissed off at Steve, but he never told her his reasons. So when she went to Fury, Steve was called in to be reprimanded. And that’s when Fury knew. 

Now Director Fury was faced with the decision of whether or not they should work together. Steve begged to still be partners and he promised to not to do it again. Not a word was spoken about his interest in Madonna. No words were needed – Fury knew everything within the first hour. So Fury let Steve get away with it; all Steve got was a slap on the wrists which translated to filling out the messy paperwork for the mission. Steve didn’t mind at all and he apologized to Madonna, who easily forgave him.   
However, every mission after that, whenever Madonna was hurt her attackers always suffered in an equal measure or greater but never by Madonna herself. Madonna was clueless to Steve’s interest in her, though by their third mission together Clint, Natasha, Maria, Tony, Pepper, and Happy were well aware of it. In fact, almost everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. knew how much he liked her. For once, Madonna was completely left in the dark. She like Steve as a friend so far, though she had acknowledged on more than one occasion that he had a pretty sweet ass – he must have sat in sugar all those years he was on ice. 

Madonna wasn’t aware of Steve’s intentions until one mission where they put up against modern-day pirates. They had captured a trade barge and held American hostages. The barge held plenty of weapons that could not be afforded to lose, especially to pirates who would sell it to anyone – mercenaries or terrorists, they didn’t care. The pirates were a breeze to handle and no hostages were killed; they were mostly just in need of medical attention from dehydration but nothing too serious. One pirate though, had slipped underneath their radar, and he had stabbed Madonna the leg and tried to shoot her. Steve threw his shield in the way and he almost hanged that pirate. However, his morals got in the way so he simply broke the hands that held the knife and the gun before putting him under, effectively knocking him out. Steve handled the situation quickly and it wasn’t until that he and Madonna were back at S.H.I.E.L.D. that he allowed himself to break down. 

He had filed the paper work and went to visit her in the medical ward, where she was resting. They decided to keep her overnight just for monitoring. Her only injuries were her stabbed leg, and she had a scratch on her ribs that required a tetanus shot. Pretty standard injuries; she got off easy. Steve himself had cracked a rib, but do to his super serum he was healing at a very fast rate. He was lucky not to have internal bleeding, but then again he was Captain America. Anyway, it wasn’t even her worst battle scars; nothing was broken and more often than not, she broke something or other. 

While he watched her doze, he hesitated to tell her, even if she couldn’t hear. So he silently let the tears drip down his face, as he hoarsely whispered to her, “That bullet would have pierced your heart, Madonna.” He sniffed miserably, “It would have killed you and you would have died, never knowing–” he choked and took a breath before starting again, “Never knowing that I love you.” After that he said nothing more. He just wiped his tears away, blew his nose, and left. 

He had thought that Madonna did not hear, that she was sleeping, dreaming away about something nice. However, being an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., she had woken up when he first started to speak. You could never be too careful of assassins or rival agents. And despite being new to the field she had already made a handful or more of enemies. She heard his confession and it touched her heart. She sat up in her uncomfortable hospital bed with its lumpy mattress and scratchy sheets, knowing that she could not fall back asleep unless she was given a sedative.

Madonna lifted her hospital gown until she could see her new scar that was freshly sewn together. It was pretty high up on her thigh; if that pirate aimed better he probably would have stabbed a reproductive organ like an ovary. Without Steve’s shout of warning and his lightning fast reflexes when he threw his shield, she would have died as he said. It made Madonna reflect upon her feelings for Steve. 

He was attractive enough. Steve was honest, brave, loyal, and true. He was serious with his work, but he knew when to joke around and play. She could see nothing wrong with dating him. It had already affected their work as it was because of his fierce protectiveness. Madonna, herself, always had Steve’s back. She could think of nothing wrong with this. Besides, she had been lonely for a while and Steve always cheered her up.

The next day, Madonna asked him on a date. They went out and it was wonderful. Dates with Steve, weren’t like dates with Tony or dates with Clint. Tony’s dates were extravagant and more often social events in the light of the media. He always took her to clubs, bars, parties – she was never bored with him. Clint’s dates were intense and they usually went to somewhere remote, way out of the eye of the public. He paid a lot of attention to her, and while they never did anything, Clint loved to cuddle while Tony loved to make out. Steve was the in between of these two great men. Steve took her on normal dates and made her feel like the most extraordinary average being in her crazy life. Steve was a shy virgin and she was a not-so-shy virgin. He was easily embarrassed and more or less had to be told what to do when they kissed. He was a quick study though. He knew when Madonna needed a comforting hug because her menses was making her irritable and cramping; that said he also knew when to fetch the chocolate when she was so grumpy that she wanted to be left alone. He knew when Madonna wanted to be fiercely kissed after a breathless mission. He knew when Madonna just needed to be held while they watched a movie. He was the perfect balance.  
Madonna and Steve were a very domestic couple and they dated for a very long time. By the time Pepper and Tony had married and were expecting a child, and Clint and Natasha had married, Steve finally decided to pop the question. It was just before they were to go on a mission to handle some mafia thugs who had overstepped their limit. They went to Brooklyn, where Steve was from, and he just decided to ask out of the blue before they were to step into the building that wouldn’t be left standing once they stepped out. Madonna said yes, kissed him, and then kicked open the doors. 

After that mission they told everyone their news from the beds in the medical ward (Steve sprained an ankle and Madonna had broken her wrist for the twentieth time, according to her medical record). No one was surprised considering that they had been dating for five years. Madonna had only dated Tony for six months and he decided to marry Pepper after a year (his longest relationship ever). However, he only waited three months before he got her pregnant. Clint and Madonna had dated for nearly nine months, but Clint and Natasha dated for three years and then married. Everyone had been waiting for the wedding invitations.

They married and took a brief vacation honeymoon where they traveled to Europe, a place that Madonna had never visited even on a mission and place Steve had only sad memories of for he visited it during a war. When they returned to S.H.I.E.L.D. after three weeks they were itching for a mission and then they were both back on the field, Captain and Mrs. America. Two years later, Agents Barton and Barton had their first and soon after Agents Rogers and Rogers followed with baby shower announcements. Little Caroline Georgia Stark and Isaac Anthony Stark were just turning three and Natalia Alexandra Barton was nearly eleven months when Margaret “Peggy” Sarah Rogers was born. The Barton family had two more, a son they named Peter Ivan and a daughter they named Annie Veronica. The Rogers family expanded as well. Madonna bared two strong, healthy boys named John Morgan and Phillip Cole. Everyone cried when they heard about Phillip. 

Even though the most dangerous and best super heroes on Earth were living the American dream, they stilled worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. and their children lived the most exciting lives. Carolina Stark went on to become the C.E.O. of Stark Industries while he brother Isaac became a famous scientist in chemistry that consulted with S.H.I.E.L.D. on dangerous weapons. Natalia followed in her parents’ footsteps and became one of the best agents that S.H.I.E.L.D. had ever seen. She prevented nuclear war with the help of Isaac and they married. Her sister Annie worked in politics and her brother Peter decided to become a psychologist; Peter married Peggy who became a mechanic. She helped update technology years in advance of what they thought they could accomplish. John became an average citizen who worked for a business that helped charities and did humanitarian work. He married Carolina. Phillip became the next Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. once Fury retired and he was known as “The Director who made peace with the Asgardians”. When Thor returned to earth to be with Jane, they had a daughter called Maria that Phillip had married. So naturally, interacting with aliens was easy for him. Thor also had a son called Adam who decided to go to Asgard and stay there. All in all, the Avengers really did become a family whether it is by blood or marriage or friendship or missions. And they lived happily ever after, kicking ass and avenging Earth for the rest of their days.


	6. How Madonna met Peeta

Peeta and Madonna met in the medical ward. With all the districts uprising and complete war breaking out nearly everyone has ended up in the medical ward at least once if they didn’t go to the morgue first. That’s when Peeta met her. She was so different from Katniss, and yet so similar. Dark brown hair short to her shoulders and it was wavy and loose about her face. Her skin was tanned from working outside and her nose looked like it had been broken before and not reset properly. It would have been a regal nose, but it was slightly crooked like her smile. Her smile was vicious though, that was how Peeta knew that she was a soldier like the rest of them. She was small and she moved quickly and decisively, with the confidence that the higher ranking officers were graced with. Her eyes though – they were brown but they were beautiful. They showed her mercy and her grace and her morals. 

He learned that her name was Madonna, and from her hospital bed she commanded legions. Everyone came around her for tactical advice on how to move their squadrons and she offered her advice clearly and swiftly. It seemed she had never lost a fight. Why she was in the medical ward though was because she had broken a leg and an ankle and had bruised her ribs saving one of her new recruits. Madonna was also a new amputee, she lost a finger somehow; she never explained and her nurse attending to it never bothered to explain the story. She was young, only fifteen, yet she was already a captain. He never learned just how she was promoted so fast and so young. All he learned from watching and listening was that she was from District 13 originally and that she was not to be trifled with. 

She wasn’t loved by everyone though. Rival officers, usually of a lower rank yet older age than her, ignored her orders and never followed her advice. They more often than not lost their fights and sometimes even their lives, but they never learned. Their bitterness ensured that they would never be promoted. Their hatred came up with the idea to call her the Rat. 

Even though Peeta hated the nickname – she obviously didn’t deserve it – she just smiled grimly at the insult. From then on it was sort of like a hated nickname. She never acknowledged someone if they called her that to get her attention, and the only time she ever struck someone for calling her the Rat was when they tacked on ass. That was when Peeta learned she was violent. That private had his arm twisted so hard that it was dislocated from the shoulder, sprained at the wrist, and all the fingers were broken.   
Madonna had shown her violent tendencies before though. Every time they lost a unit she broke something, usually an object although one nurse tried to sedate her when they told her that they lost a district. That nurse was sedated instead and had woken up with a bloody nose but no memory of just how she got it. No one bothered to tell her, she could have guessed what happened. But from then on they learned to never get in her way. 

All while Peeta was there recovering, he was coming to terms that Katniss was not a monster and that she was with Gale. He was fine with that. He liked Madonna better. And when he left the medical ward he always came back just to catch a glimpse of her tracing paths along a map for their men to take. 

One day though, he was visiting and he had finally gathered the courage to talk to her while she wasn’t busy with the other officers. He was going to deliver her lunch and flirt with her, and if she broke one of his bones then great! He would be in the medical ward again, with her. However, that was the day he realized that she had been discharged and she was back on the field once more. He knew that he could not follow.

It wasn’t until after they had won that he learned the news. She had died with the siege of the Capital. How she had died was a different story every time he asked. 

“The Rat died when she cut the red wire on a bomb instead of the blue.”

“Captain Rat died of dysentery.”

“Rat died when a building collapsed on her.”

“Captain Madonna was stabbed in the gut trying to save one of her scouts from enemy fire."

“The Rat’s Ass died from a broken heart – she never wanted this war to end."

That last one, Peeta punched himself and they received a broken jaw for their lies. He finally learned from President Coin himself that Madonna had died under torture. She was captured and she refused to reveal any plans so they let her choose her death. She chose Night berries. Peeta had never felt such agonizing pain before as the mental anguish of discovering her death. Yet, he was glad that Madonna had died with honor and she didn’t suffer terribly. Still, whenever stories were told of that siege on the capital he never forgot Captain Madonna and her sacrifice.


	7. How Madonna met Zuko

It was in the city of Ba Sing Se that Zuko met his first girlfriend. She had been coming in the teashop nearly every day and every day she ordered the same thing (jasmine tea) and every day she sat at the same table and every day she had a new book to read. Zuko could not tell what class she was from. She dressed in fine silk but refused to wear any make-up other than red paint on her lips. Whenever she spoke it was with the city accent of an average woman. She had enough money to buy tea everyday and she was a scholar. This woman would come in, start her book and order her tea, drink two cups, and then finish her book and leave. She paid handsomely, always with a generous tip. She never tried to talk to him other than the standard, “Jasmine tea please.” And her customary, “Thank you.” From what he could tell, Zuko guessed that she was from the upper class families, though she had no escort.

He never would have really bothered to pay attention that much to her had it not been for the fact that his nosey Uncle was always trying to get him to talk to her. Zuko always refused, politely of course, because he was never interested. That was when his Uncle changed tactics.

One day, the young woman entered with her new book and say at her customary table and ordered her usual tea with a polite, “Jasmine tea please.” When asked what she will have. Instead of Uncle making him deliver her tea, Uncle took it to her himself. He spoke quietly with her and then sat down at her table. He stayed there for about thirty minutes. The young woman chatted politely with his rambling Uncle, and she didn’t seem bothered by the conversation. As a matter of fact that was the first time Zuko heard her laugh. He had seen her cry from reading some books but other than that she was silently enthralled. When a book had said something funny she would just smile to herself as if she was learning a secret. While she talked with his Uncle, Zuko was kept busy attending the shop and couldn’t stop to watch them too much lest he fall behind or call attention to himself. Finally, when he was started to get overwhelmed, he asked his Uncle for help. His Uncle obliged and the young woman finally opened her new book. 

She went to take a sip of her tea before she turned the first page when she realized that she needed a refill. She summoned Zuko and he gave her some more jasmine tea. She was halfway through her book when she summoned him again, her second refill. Nearly finished with her book, she surprisingly asked for a third cup. Usually it was two and she was finished whether or not she was done with the book or not. The third time she asked for the refill, Uncle took it to her and they talked again. Uncle made her laugh again and when Zuko needed his help he called and Uncle excused himself. Because of Uncle’s conversations with her, the young woman finished her really thick book at closing time. She paid with more money than usual, even for having three cups of tea, and left with an uncustomary, “Good bye, Uncle! Good bye, Zuko!”

After cleaning up the shop, Zuko asked about her. His Uncle explained, “She is a young lady who is very wealthy. Her father is a successful silk merchant and her mother is of noble blood. She’s their only daughter, an heiress, who is only 15. She’s very independent and opinionated, Zuko. She reminds me a lot of you.” Here Zuko rolled his eyes, but his Uncle ignore him and continued, “The lady is very smart, Zuko. She was serious about politics but she could discuss art and literature, of course, just as easily. She’s very knowledgeable about science as well.”

“That is all fine and well, Uncle, but what is her name? She knows mine.” huffed Zuko exasperatedly.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” challenged Uncle with a twinkle in his eye and a sly smile on his lips. 

So the next day this routine of the young woman’s chats with Uncle continued for three days. On the third day, when it was time for Uncle to give the young woman her third refill he was busy so he sent Zuko. Zuko gave her her tea, but did not stay to chat. She called him back nonetheless. “Excuse me, Zuko, but is your Uncle busy?”

“Yes.” said Zuko shortly. He didn’t know quite what to say.

“Oh. Pity. He is such an interesting and wise man to talk to and I’m starved for intelligent conversation rather than worthless prattle.” She stated simply.

Zuko would have shuffled his feet had he had been a lesser man. Instead he just stared her down, wondering exactly what she wanted from him. The young woman sighed and commanded, “Sit down, you fool.” Zuko obeyed their best customer’s command albeit grudgingly. “I wonder if you are as good as a conversationalist your Uncle is,” she looked him over and guessed, “probably not.” She took a sip of her tea. Still Zuko said nothing.   
“If you don’t speak then I’ll take my business elsewhere.” The woman finally snapped after a long period of silence between them. 

“What is your name?” Zuko asked quietly.

She smirked and Zuko felt a shiver down his spine. “Madonna.” 

“I have never heard such a name before.”

“I imagine not. I am the only Madonna you will ever meet.”

“You are so sure about that?”

“Without a doubt.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

Silence.

“You were doing so well, Zuko, don’t stop now.”

Silence.

“Oh well. Here.” She handed him a hefty bag filled with money. “I’ll be back tomorrow and by then I expect you to have a good conversation topic ready. I hope it doesn’t bore me. Good bye, Uncle. Good bye, Zuko.” And so Madonna left, without finishing her third cup of tea or finishing her book.

This new routine continued for three days. Every day Zuko gave her her third refill and everyday he had to start a conversation topic and hope that she liked it. He tried politics and she had yawned and excused herself quickly. He tried art and she raised an eyebrow and left quickly again. He tried literature and she didn’t even respond, just handed him the money and left. 

Finally he picked a topic she liked, “Tell me about your family.”

“Only if you tell me about yours.”

Zuko grew silent and then he was the one to leave. She left her money on the table and left. Out of frustration, Zuko turned to his Uncle for advice about Madonna. His Uncle laughed and said, “I had already discussed those topics with her, Zuko. Her family not as much. It is only natural though that for there to be conversation that both people must be talking equally otherwise why would she walk away the first time?”

So the next day Zuko broached a topic he was unsure about. “What do you think about this war and the Fire Nation invading?” He went straight to the point.

“Wouldn’t you say that falls under politics, Zuko?” she smoothly asked. That was the first time she had spoken a word to him that wasn’t goodbye or tea related.

“No. Not in this case when nobody really wants to talk about it.”

“Then I think the Fire Nation is greedy and they need to chill out.”

“That’s it?”

“Pretty much. If you want me to regale you with the speeches I have every day with my father then don’t bring up this subject again.”

“Regale me, then.”

“They are terrible what they have done to all those people.” And off she started. She spoke of all their atrocities and crimes against humanity. Zuko felt shame and remorse. When Madonna brought up the Air Benders, Zuko grew pensive. He thought about the Avatar and felt regret. When she mentioned the Avatar, Zuko started listening again.

“I believe he is real. I believe his is even inside these city walls. Do you think so?” She babbled excitedly. Zuko liked the light in her eyes. She looked mischievous. 

“I know so.” assured Zuko confidently. 

Madonna eyed him and said, “You didn’t listen to me much did you?” Zuko didn’t answer. Madonna just sighed. “That’s okay.” She gave him the money and said he customary goodbye, but before she left she gave him a kiss on his mouth for a full five seconds. Over her shoulder she called, “See you tomorrow for our date, Zuko.”

That’s when Zuko realized that each of these conversations with her was a date. He was dating this young woman. After every date she gave him a long and sweet kiss goodbye. He liked her kisses that tasted of jasmine tea and something uniquely her. So they continued dating until she told him that he father did not approve and that she wasn’t allowed to come anymore. By then Zuko had grown attached to her. He let her go regretfully and she said goodbye sadly. Zuko will always remember her as her his first girlfriend. And she will always remember him to be a great listener and a fair conversationalist.


End file.
